Apple fans! Can’t get to MacExpo? Play Stevenote bingo, or make your own!
So there you are, despondent because unlike previous years, the keynote speech by Steve Jobs isn’t going to be broadcast, or webcast (except in a select few places). Don’t worry! This handy print-out-and-keep table gives you all the phrases you’re sure to hear when the video is finally released. Can’t wait? Put on your favourite old blue jeans, black jumper and old, old trainers, and recite them out loud at random! Includes bonus boxes where you can put in your own “must-invent” gadgets that Apple should have come up with, but incomprehensibly didn’t, such as a Wi-Fi electric dog polisher or Bluetooth-enabled fur-lined sink.
Updated 20 January with where I was right and wrong.
| “We’ve got a lot to get through today so let’s start”
Yes! |
“sold 200 million songs”
Well, 220, but Yes! |
Q88 [whatever it is]
The Mac mini - Yes! |
announce Keynote 2
It’s in iWork - Yes! |
supercomputer at Virginia Tech
in the intro to the Mac mini - Yes! |
“like to welcome Phil Schiller”
on iChat AV - Yes! |
| (really loud but incomprehensible shout from nut in audience)
Yes! (surely?) |
‘iWork’
Yes! |
“leading-edge chip fabrication”
No.. |
“isn’t it great?”
No.. |
“One more thing..”
Yes! |
(mad applause and whooping from audience)
Yes, many times |
| iLife ‘05
Yes! |
Garageband 2
(and tedious demo) - Yes! |
(disappointed silence from audience on hearing price)
No.. quite the opposite |
“made recording your own music easier than ever before”
No.. |
“working with Motorola”
No.. |
“for years one thing that has really bugged people is..”
No.. |
| some new Powerbooks
No..(curses) |
Tiger will ship
Yes! (though still vague) |
“March 24 2001″
No.. |
“four years later”
No.. |
Asteroid [for Garageband]
No.. |
“like to welcome [person in suit]”
Whatshisname from Sony - Yes! |
flash memory iPod
Yes! |
“just opened our latest store in London”
Yes! |
“sales have been phenomenal”
Yes! |
? | ? | “We call it…”
Mac mini, iPod shuffle - Yes! |
- These posts might be related (the database thinks..):
- Stevenote bingo: play it now at The Guardian! (9 January 2006; score: 151.52%)
- "The ads are for OCD... or blogging" (26 August 2004; score: 40.95%)
- Apple sues Think Secret over headless iMac and iWork: yeah, but try finding them (5 January 2005; score: 37.67%)
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