Charles on… anything that comes along

Splash headline on thelondonpaper, News International’s new free evening paper for London: “Croc man killed by stingray”.

Splash headline on London Lite, Associated Newspapers’ new free evening paper for London: “The Croc Hunter is killed by a fish”.

There couldn’t have been a better story for the first-round battle between these two free evening dailies each trying to make their mark on the capital: a larger-than-life TV star dies in a remarkable, ironic manner (terrible to put it like that; sorry. He was enormously unlucky, though if you tempt fate enough times…).

thelondonpaper does it stodgy and misses the irony. London Lite hits it with a bullseye.

But other things matter too. thelondonpaper doesn’t have the distribution - I go through Farringdon tube and Liverpool St mainline. I saw someone with thelondonpaper across the road. I’m not going to cross the road for a free evening paper.

By contrast, London Lite obviously has the Evening Standard’s locations. I passed people handing it out. (But I’m not interested in a free evening London daily. What’s it going to tell me? I don’t live in London.)

Shall I go on? Oh, might as well. thelondonpaper has a rubbish typeface - too thin and weak - awful, light layout (too much white space) and no light touch on its headlines or story choice. “Pete Docherty Doherty spared from prison sentence” read a headline on p3. No, you’re spared prison. Then on p5: “Naz is freed from prison”, with a pic of ‘Prince’ Naseem Hamed walking out of prison. (At least they got the ‘from’ right there.) Two prison stories in two pages, and neither done right. There should be lots of things being thrown around the office. That’s terrible news editing.

By contrast, the Evening Stan…er, London Lite has “Judge tells Docherty she’s a fan… of sorts” and (a long way back) “Prince Naseem leaves jail… in a Rolls Royce”. With a pic of him in Roller, and waving to ex-jailmates. Assured editing, well-judged placement.

thelondonpaper, on this evidence, is already toast. It will take a supreme effort - including unbelievable work on the distribution, which is the real key to success - to get it anywhere. And it will also take superlative design and brilliant editing, which it’s not showing at present, to work.

Tough to relate, but facts is facts. I guess that’s my chance of being their technology editor blown then.

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• Sudoku trivia.. what's the least numbers for a solvable grid without guesses? (17 May 2007; score: 33.53%)